What a crazy week. I can't begin to explain the stress and anxiety I have been through.

You know how you have a friend you can talk to and is there to help you out regardless of your problem? They aren't selfish and don't mind listening and offering advice? They know you will do the same for them.

I don't. That's the hardest thing. I can't even rely on my family to be there for me. It's so messed up. I guess everyone I know doesn't understand my situation and see me as someone I'm not. I give them 1 hour (probably less) in my home and then they would understand. The problem though, is that no one wants to understand.

I hate living at home. It turns me into them. I take on their aggression and selfish ways. I become angry in a snap of a finger. I'm happy to say though it's not as bad as I could be. I'm not like them, just appear to be like them. It's like when you're around someone you love, you see them sad, angry, depressed or better yet happy and you take on those attributes for as long as they last.

People tell me it's all under my control. You know what? It always isn't. Only one person truly understands that and he is 400 and some Km's away.

As I've said before, 3 more months. 4 more weeks until I get to visit him for a week.